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Sunday, June 8th, 2003
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3:34 pm - just visiting
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i haven't been here in a long long long time...
and to be honest, i damn near forgot about it... until someone drew my attention back to it.
i'm very affected by others moods... and it hurts.
i need to get moving, be moving... be rocking and rolling... have energy...
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(comment on this)
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| Thursday, April 25th, 2002
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8:38 pm - just like a woman
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She takes just like a woman, yes, she does
She makes love just like a woman, yes, she does
And she aches just like a woman
But she breaks just like a little girl.
dont tell me this isnt true.
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(comment on this)
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| Thursday, April 11th, 2002
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6:54 pm - lost one more time
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i dont know where to go anymore. i want to fix everything and everyone. i want to draw out everyone's pain like blood from a syringe. and even i know thats just not possible. people are in pain and non of my (little) patience or goofiness will cure them. i want to hold people in my arms and tell them it's all okay. even when it's not. a shimmer of hope is nice on a dark night, a dark day... a sometimes dark morning. i want to be the sun, the moon and the stars for everyone.
i hate seeing pain, i hate feeling pain, i hate pain existing.
i feel useless if i cant help, i know there are some people who are harder to help than others. people who wont let up. try to be stronger than they are. but i want to hold the cross for them when it gets too much. maybe it's really a selfish want, a selfish need, those are selfish words, aren't they? i need and want to be needed and wanted. i want to be of some use. rather than none at all. i want i want i want. to help someone somewhere somehow for somewhy.
but i dont, i think i make more problems than i make solutions. how can i make a difference when i just blend into the background?
i'm lost again.
current mood: lost
current music: would? Alice in Chains
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| Wednesday, April 10th, 2002
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6:54 pm - bleaurgh
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how frustrating was last night???!!! all i wanted to do was talk to rob. i had a PLAN jesus, for once in my life i had a p l a n i was gonna hop into town get a phone card and ish, and talk on AIM and oh.. but parents. parent. a wankered out of his face father who decided that i couldnt go into town b/c i had to stay for a delivery guy who was bringing ma's carpet.. which didnt come until half bloody 4!!! grrrrrr. then!!! ahaaa then! he calls, so frigging drunk telling us we're all going out to eat. yeah.. aight. and so we ugh. sod it. it was an okay night i just wanted to speak to Rob.
maybe thats all i wanna do.
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(comment on this)
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| Tuesday, April 9th, 2002
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7:45 pm - and so we begin the gibberish years
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| Saturday, March 9th, 2002
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10:30 pm - You.
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You.
You are my present tense.
You are what I hold in my future.
Like a silvery, old snake skin
I am growing out my past
To reveal you.
All your colours mingling with mine
Beautiful and mesmerising to the last.
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(comment on this)
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